I’ve learnt a lot of valuable life lessons in the past one year. Some I learnt passively while others I learnt in a really hard way. One of the hard ones is that “In life, it’s always going to be you against the world.” This one was particularly hard because I’m a people person. I love to have people around, partake in group activities and all that kind of stuff. So the realisation for me was quite tough and it came with a lot of hurt.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way advocating a solitary life. The need for true love and valuable friendships can never be overemphasised. I agree. But when relationships become the pivot of your life, then there’s a problem. You’re not only setting yourself up for a string of heartbreaks, betrayals and disappointments, you’re also slowing yourself down on your life’s journey.
I’ve learnt to primarily befriend myself and cherish my own company. As crazy as that sounds, it’s the truth. I’ve learnt how to take care of myself, encourage myself, motivate myself, consult with myself, make plans with myself, pamper myself whenever I feel like without having to wait for anyone to do it for me. And frankly, I believe that’s the way it should be for everybody so that we can all save ourselves the stress and unnecessary drama that comes with being let down by people you counted on. If you have to depend on external motivation for everything, you will almost not get anything done. I know this cause I’ve been there.
I remember when it felt like everyone was taking turns to disappoint me and until I decided to look inward for my own strength, the cycle never broke. Don’t get it twisted though, I have friends. Amazing one-in-a-million kind of friends but what I’ve also come to have is emotional independence. And believe it or not, that strengthens friendship like nothing else. We need to reach that point where we are enough for ourselves so that any relationship we form will be a plus and we can easily walk away if it becomes detrimental to our personal growth. You are the most important person to yourself. Never forget that.
While there’s always a place for people in our lives, my whole point is to know where to draw the line! Know when you need a girls night out or a ‘you day in’, when to seek the opinion of others or when you need to consult with yourself, when to share your plans and when to keep it to yourself. In the end, this is life and everyone is looking out for themselves ultimately. Do not be deceived waiting on a train that will never move. If you want to accomplish anything, get up and get going. Be your own drive. Keep it moving. Don’t put your life on hold for anybody. If they want in, they’ve got to keep up. And if not, you are better off without them anyway.
Bottom line is you came into this world alone. It is YOUR life. It will become what you make of it and no matter how it turns out in the end, it will be YOUR cup of tea. Don’t keep rolling in cliques and neglect investing in your own life. People come and go but you’re always going to end up with you. Make it worthwhile!