I’m sure you’re familiar with the maxim, ‘Honesty is the best policy’. Honesty is a big deal to almost anyone. While some people are keener on it than others, we can all still agree that honesty is a necessity. It is so important that the survival or demise of a relationship is largely dependent on this singular virtue. However, is honesty a boundless policy? Because I bet we’ve been in sticky situations where being outrightly honest did more harm than good.
Or are there certain points where honesty isn’t exactly necessary?
As a person, I’m big on honesty. Like from the get go, I like to be up-front about myself in a relationship. I like to communicate what I feel and get a good picture of what’s going on in the other person’s head as well. But I’ve come to learn very recently that there are certain circumstances that do not necessarily require the ‘absolute-tell-all-honesty’.
For instance, if you spent hours making a special dinner for your man but you went a little overboard with the spices, would you appreciate it if he ‘honestly’ admitted to you that the food tasted terrible? Or you got your girl this really pricey jewellery and she ‘honestly’ told you she thought it looked a little tacky? While these examples may seem really trivial, such occurrences over time will definitely build up some tension that will ultimately put strain on the relationship.
Just imagine you had an insecure partner and your co-worker of the opposite sex hits on you at work that day, would it be wise to tell your ‘already insecure’ partner about it in the name of ‘honesty’ ? I don’t think so.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in anyway encouraging lying in relationships but as they say ‘some things are better left unsaid’. And by some things here, I’m not referring to important information such as dating history, having kids, medical conditions, and so on. Even though with those, you still have to figure out the right time to spill the beans. You really don’t want to go on a first date and be like, “Hi my name is Kate. I’m epileptic and I have 2 kids.” That is enough to send anybody running in the other direction.
So if you ask me whether there can be too much honesty in a relationship, my answer is YES. I think being overly honest can be detrimental to any relationship. The point is for us not to get carried away with ‘honesty’ that we abandon the place of sensitivity, support, discretion and protection of our loved ones from unnecessary pain and heartbreak. Sometimes, the most loving and caring thing to do for the person you love is to spare them the agony of hearing the truth.
What do you think? Is there such a thing as too much honesty? Do you think the ‘tell all’ approach is always a good idea regardless of circumstances?