I was discussing with someone a few weeks back and this question came up. It generated such a debate between us that I thought I’d bring the conversation on here just to hear what you guys think.

The question is “Is it ever ok to date your friend’s ex?”

If you ask me, my answer is hell no!

I can’t even think of any reason that can make it ‘ok’ for someone to date their friend’s ex. And before you hound me for sounding judgemental, I totally get it. Dating is hard. What’s even harder? Finding a really good person that you click with. So I can understand why some people throw caution to the wind and go for it regardless. However, I believe in the concept of right and wrong. Some things are just not relative. What is wrong is wrong. No need to sugarcoat.

Do I think dating your friend’s ex is wrong? YES!

Why? I’ll get to that in a sec.

It’s not nice!
Let’s be honest, dating your friend’s ex is just messed up isn’t a nice thing to do. Seeing your ex with someone new can hurt whether or not you’re over him/her (just admit it). Then finding out that the someone new is your ‘friend’ is just plain awful. Awkward!

How would you feel if someone did that to you?
Treat others how you’d want to be treated. How would you feel if one of your besties started hooking up with your ex? Chances are that you’ll feel hurt and betrayed. Before you know it, you would start questioning everyone around you. And paranoia is not exactly a prerequisite for a happy life.

You could lose a friend.
This one is pretty obvious. You’ve got to ask yourself if this person is worth losing your friend over. Even if your friend claims to be cool with it, he/she would probably take a few steps back from you. Truth is the relationship may or may not be the same again. Is that a risk you’re willing to take?

You may lose other friends too
If you’re in a clique, this can be a major threat to the bond between you and your friends. If things get messy and you and the friend in question have a fall out, chances are that you will lose more than one friend. Your friend is the ‘victim’ here, most reasonable people are going to be on his/her side. That leaves you the Wicked Witch of the West ( lol kidding) on the other side. Of course this does not always happen. But it could!

Jealousy is bound to happen
Sooner or later, someone is going to start getting jealous. And it may as well be you! Without realising it, you may start comparing your relationship to the relationship they had with your friend and jealousy in a relationship is never a good thing.

Those are some of the reasons why I feel it’s not ok to date your friend’s ex. There are many more. But I’d love to know what you peeps think. Especially the guys! Cause it seems y’all are always cool with each other no matter what.

Have you ever being down that dating road? Is it ever acceptable to date your friend’s ex? If so, under what circumstances?



  1. hmmmm!! ……dating a friend’s ex?? NO ..there are so many guys out brings about so many unpleasant things…funny enough nobody blames the guy,it’s always gonna be the girl who get bad treatment for such.

  2. Well, imo, I would have said I don’t see anything bad in it. But a friend broke everything down and gave me examples that just made the idea seem like the worst possible. So I would just say it depends on those involved and the circumstances surrounding the break up… There’s no hard and fast rule to these things.

  3. It’s just plain bad! However, a fast one with him or her may not be inescapable from. But if you’re a female, I guess it’s worse than a male doing it. (I am not a masochist, just being realistic)…nice topic Ay.

  4. Date a close friends ex?? !no!no! …. in my opinion even if it is love made from heaven…or hell…or wherever. U just have to accord ur friend that RESPECT…its one word…RESPECT.. ND if something must happen between u two(ie u and d guy).. It would have to be after a while and with consent from ur friend. Btw u have to be really careful about any guy..who would date ur friend ND den come back to ask you out…#just saying

  5. Hello. As far as I’m concerned, it is wrong. I believe in loyalty. I don’t even date girls that my guy had a thing for not to talk about “ex”. It’s awkward and a no go area for me.

  6. Abeg! All these things are stories! The truth is one can never always be too certain about stuff like this! The guy is are dating or once dated is or was someone’s ex too.
    What if you started dating the guy and then found out months after that he was your friend’s ex? You’d break up cos of loyalty????
    Please o! As long as the terms of their break up wasn’t shitty! What I just wouldn’t advise is dating immediately after they break up! Please, b happy without causing anyone too much pain!

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