Okay this is a bit hard. Not necessarily because I have been blank on what to write or how to start but because this would actually require me to share a part of my life with the many people that would come across this post. And that is just scary. (A friend of mine thinks what I feel is actually excitement and not fear but I don’t know if I agree). Anyways, y’all are lucky to read this exclusive piece from me.
Before I start, I would like to thank Queen Ayo for the opportunity to post this. It really helped me reflect more on the year. I have got lots of love for you babes.
Back to the topic of the day, my 2015 story. I think I would just start from the top to make this easier.
At the beginning of the year, I had a list of stuff I planned to do throughout the course of the year (new year resolutions). I made this list along with some of my friends and we planned to check up on each other throughout the year. Well, the plan worked for the first few weeks of the year until the struggles of medical school got in the way. Even though I wasn’t so successful with those resolutions (let’s say 3.5 on a scale of 10), I would still make a 2016 list because as the saying goes, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail” and even the bible says ‘Write the vision, make it plain…’ -Habakkuk 2:2.
The first 4-5 months of my 2015 were taken up by medical school as I was preparing for my professional exams. And though it seems so far away right now, it was a really tough period. I remember a particular morning (I think it was about a week before the exams), I broke down and kept crying for almost 30 minutes. I don’t even remember why I was crying but I know it wasn’t funny at all. There were days when I didn’t even know what I wrote in the exam hall but God saw me through and granted me success.
By the middle of the year, clinical school had resumed and the standing and walking for hours began. It was fun sometimes, and hell at other times. Seeing the patients at the accident and emergency, on the wards and even in clinic made me appreciate God more for the life and good health that I and my family enjoy.
School aside, I started a GEMSTONE chapter in my school along with some of my schoolmates. It’s been a fun and learning process for me. I also did a lot of volunteer work this year that allowed me the opportunity to meet new people. I also had a lot of responsibilities in my school fellowship which sometimes seemed too much, but with the help of God and other members of my department, it was a successful tenure.
I really appreciate the fact that I got to learn a lot this year. From sermons to seminars to personal experiences . I also started practising some of the things that I previously had knowledge of. For example, concerning guarding my thoughts, I recited Philippians 4:8 at times when sinful thoughts came up. This might seem hyper-spiritual but it really does help, that is if you are really willing to guard your thoughts. Towards the end of the year, I started something personal which I called #LESSONSLEARNEDTODAY, where at the end of each day I reflect on how the day has been and document something significant that I might have learnt, whether new or just something old that I experienced personally. I wasn’t very consistent, but I plan to be better next year.
While writing this, I came across something I wrote a year ago about self discovery and being comfortable in your skin. I had a bit of a hard time accepting myself at the beginning of the year and I resolved to change this. Although I am not fully there yet, I am far better than I was then. There’s something I saw recently and it says;
Admire the beauty of others without questioning your own.
And for me, this refers to beauty -within and without and this prompts me to drop 2 of my #LESSONSLEARNEDIN2015;
Never compare yourself to anybody, for those that do this are unwise (2 Corinthians 10:12).
No matter the number of friends or people you think you have or know, find time to know yourself because these people aren’t living your life. You are the protagonist of the script that is your life.
Most importantly, learn to be a friend to yourself at some point. Discipline and encourage yourself to be all that you can be. No need to wait for anyone to come and push you. Yes friends can help. But a lot of the work depends on you. Also, you have to realise that you can’t know yourself without knowing God. Therefore I encourage you to take conscious efforts to find God for yourselves in 2016.
2015 is a year that I can say that I truly lived and it is no doubt my best year so far. I like that my birthday, December 13 (P. S : I’m still accepting gifts so you can still send them in) falls towards the end of the year and I start my new year around the same time as the new calendar year. It kinda helps me reflect better. The first and last hours of my birthday this year came with a feeling that I can’t really explain. A mixture of fear, nervousness, excitement, euphoria and at those times, all I wanted to do was sit alone under the night sky to experience those feelings in the best way I could. Raw and pure without any influence from external sources (I finally got to do this in the last hour). This makes me super certain that there’s a lot in store for me in 2016 and that it would be a very wonderful year for me. I hope it’s the same for you. xoxo
Olakunmi Ogunyemi (@sisikunmi)