I have gone back and forth on how to start this article. I have written drafts and cancelled documents but nothing seemed to be working for me. First, it was that I had nothing of great importance to write about. Nothing outstanding had happened to me in 2015. 356 days have passed just as though I had blinked and I hadn’t learned anything significant throughout the year (or so I thought). And that is why I have decided to keep a diary in 2016 (NYR#2).
I am going to confess now that reading Seyi’s article gave me an idea on how to break this year down. So here goes my nothing…
If there’s anything I did this year, it was to take matters into my own hands. I mean, I cut my hair, started to work out, went on a diet etc. Sorry. I’m jumping the gun. *In the voice of Mufasa* Join me as I travel down memory lane…
FIRST QUARTER OF THE YEAR.
I have thought hard and I can’t remember anything that really stood out for me at the beginning of this year. Everything just seems like a blur. (this is so solidifying the diary idea I had). I wish I could say that I had used this period to prepare for my then incoming professional examinations (aka PROS) but I didn’t. Well, I guess that’s the end of the first quarter (not a great way to start the year, eh?)
SECOND QUARTER OF THE YEAR.
Yep! This was when it hit me hard that I was going to write the almighty part 2 PROS and that I hadn’t read anything. Gosh! I was so unprepared. I started trying to read my 12 months worth of school work in 3 weeks. I looked like a mad person. Literally. I was always on my hairnet and would sometimes forget to take it off on my way back to my dorm in the morning. Even drinking strong black Nescafe and 1.5L of Coca Cola daily didn’t mean that I didn’t sleep off when I was exhausted. I slept off in virtually all of my papers.
And let’s not even talk about the bouts of fear that would suddenly overwhelm me, threatening to drag me into the dark pits of depression. The fear that I was going to fail my exams and have to retake it (known as resit exams) and the fear that I was going to fail the resit exams and thus have to repeat the entire year. I learned during this time that God’s word has no equal; His word was what kept me going when the fear threatened to (and sometimes did) overwhelm me. Those words were my mantra throughout this period. For anyone whose situation seems to be overwhelming and whose fear threatens to swallow you up into its dark abyss, you could try these verses; Isaiah 41vs10,13 &14 and 2 Timothy 1vs 7. I hope they work for you. I know they did for me. I also learned here that good friends are rarer than gold. So here’s a quick one; if you have good friends, treat them well and be good to them too.
THIRD QUARTER OF THE YEAR.
July saw me bonding with my then soon-to-be ex-roomies. And I cut my hair! Not that there was so much of it to begin with. But it definitely felt good. Then came the PROS results. And I passed! 😀 I know that it was nothing short of a miracle. I mean, almost everyone thought I was going to fail, at the very least, one paper. But I passed them all. And it felt better than good. All my roommates passed too. Icing on the cake!
I finally resumed clinical posting in August. And so far, it’s been educating (one would ask if that wasn’t the purpose of the program in the first place) and fun too. I’m going to use this opportunity to say that all my units ROCK!!! And permit me to profess my love for all my consultants and registrars. I love y’all so much. They know so much and don’t slap you in the face with it; they teach you like you are a dummy (I felt like one sometimes). And the way they seem to know something about everything, oh my days! And I’m not talking about surface information. I mean real stuff moving from these people. Needless to say that they were my daily inspiration. (Don’t ask me what I did after I got to my room).
September saw me preparing for my fellowships’ yearly #worthship concert. It was one of the most gruelling rehearsals I have ever had. We had back to back vigils for a week. But it worth it! It was an amazing experience. And I learned, from watching my HOD and her assistant what it means to trust God totally, especially when you know that what you’ve given isn’t enough for what you are expecting. I also learned from my music director that trusting God is not an escape route for sloppiness and the importance of giving your everything when you’re doing something; from my colleagues, I learned what it means to respect and obey authority; about myself and the limits that I didn’t even know I could surpass; and about God and the way He makes provisions for needs you didn’t even know existed until they show up. And when everything adds up, all you can be is amazed and grateful.
FINAL QUARTER OF THE YEAR.
During this period, I decided to take the matters of my weight into my hands. I did a lot of research online, bought a lot of “healthy foods” and drew up a plan incorporating diet and exercise. The journey started. It felt good as I went along with the plan. I ate right, I exercised (I can’t believe I actually exercised!), and I felt responsible, like I was taking my life into my hands. Everything was going great. Then it happened.
I came across this 28-day diet plan and myself and two of my roommates agreed to follow the plan which promised to help us lose 16kg in 28days if we followed the plan STRICTLY! Saying it was difficult would easily be the understatement of the year. IT WAS TORTURE!!! And the whole plan turned out to be a total fiasco. Regardless, it made me realise how much I had changed in the past year without my conscious knowledge. The fact I even considered the diet first and attempted it too, is an obvious proof of how much I’ve grown this year. My real lesson out of all that happened is this: never take the shortcuts to get what you want. It never works, even when it feels or looks like it is. I should know. I’m the lady who started out trying to lose 16kg in 28days and ended up weighing more at the end of the 28 days than I did at the beginning (rebound craving is a b*tch). Which brings me to NYR#3: I’ll go back to eating healthy and exercising.
Most importantly, this was a period when I got closer to my maker, lord and saviour, Jesus Christ. And he has proven Himself to be faithful over and over again. So this is to you;
You’re the ultimate lover of my soul, the longing of my heart;
The one who chases after me continually, always waiting and ready to accept me the moment I turn around;
I know these past few weeks have been kind of terrible and it seems I am becoming inconsistent again, taking you for granted. But I’m coming back again, asking that you don’t get tired of me. Please just put up with me again.
You know that I am not where I’m supposed to be, but I am not where I used to be.
I ask that you teach me to see me the way you see me that I may think and speak and act accordingly.
All I will ever be able to say for all you’ve done for me this year and beyond is thank You. Thank YOU, Thank YOU, Thank YOU.
P.S: You’re my NYR#1.