I remember when I first heard about Kola Oyeneyin’s engagement. I thought, whoever that woman is, she is really lucky! I don’t really know him that well yeah, but from the little I know and the way all the ladies drool over him, I wouldn’t be wrong if I called him ‘One of the Most Eligible Bachelors in Lagos.’
Then another thought crossed my mind, not only is his fiancée (Eyitope St Matthew-Daniel) a lucky woman, Kola is a blessed man. A man like him wouldn’t go for just any woman, he would want someone who can add value to him, someone who he can grow and conquer the world with. And he found her! You know what they say, Great minds think alike!
All this made me ponder on how most of us ladies (myself inclusive) spend so much time and energy trying to find our ‘ideal’ man without even stopping for a second to ask, how ideal am I? It does take two to tango, you know.
Our focus as young single ladies (and by single I mean if you don’t have the ring yet) shouldn’t be so much about finding ‘Mr Right’ but about being ‘Miss Right’. You have to put the best version of yourself out there if you’re going to find your perfect match. So this isn’t the time to be whining about how much being single sucks or how the good ones are all taken. Get up and get going sister! This is an opportunity to work on you. Develop you and be a better you.
Hold on for a minute and think about this. Why would a handsome, hardworking, God-loving, and oh-so-perfect man even notice you? Is there something about you that makes him want to even talk to you? Or consider a relationship with you? And no I’m not talking about them fleeked out facebeats or the girdled hourglass figures (not that there’s anything wrong with those), I’m talking about the virtues he would see in you. The inner beauty that outshines the physical.
The amazing thing is that the moment we start thinking along these lines, we would begin to discover more things about ourselves than we can imagine. We would start to see the true beauty of this single life (trust me there’s beauty in it), being alone but not lonely. This is the best time in life to get closer to God, to make him our first love before any other. Because God’s love for us is far more than we can imagine. Even the angels in heaven cannot fathom it. He is practically obsessed with us, each and every one of us.
As we get to know God more, we know ourselves more. He reveals things to us. If you aren’t hearing God now, you really can’t expect to hear him when you want to choose your life partner. I don’t think it works that way. God is love, the best lover there is and ever would be. As we experience more of God, we become better at loving and when our prince charming comes along at the right time, we can love him in the best way possible.
So ladies (and guys reading this by chance), please let’s not waste this period of our lives. It’s not a time to be jumping in and out of relationships for status sake. It’s a vicious cycle that sucks your energy and leaves you hurt and broken. Trust me I’ve been there. You can build life-long, productive relationships with the opposite sex with no strings attached. Maximise this period and 10, 15, 50 years from now, you would be glad you did.
This is a guest post by my friend, Olakunmi Ogunyemi.
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